Yesterday was a Monday.
One of those dreary, weary, bleary days.
A day for being lost.
A day for being in my own world.
A day for not being able to smile.
A day for having no words.
A day for being sure that the circles I’ve been thinking in are going to get me nowhere.
A day where dreams felt far away from coming true and that hurt and made me feel like I am not even certain what my dreams truly are, or why I want what I want.
So you see, I wasn’t really in the mood to set up a Christmas tree yesterday.
But I had said that I would do that with my two Monday kiddos, so the three of us tromped downstairs and found the box containing the Christmas tree. With declarations of “Christmas!” and assorted bits and pieces from “Deck the Halls”, we scampered back up to the classroom.
Imagine my surprise when we opened the box and I realized that some assembly was required. I have never dealt with a full-size Christmas tree before, and did not realize that they came in so many different pieces.
(It makes a lot of sense now that I think about it.)
At the moment, this just added to my feeling of being overwhelmed by life. However, there was no turning back at this point, since those children were so very excited about it (and already taking all of the branches out of the box).
I grudgingly began assembling the tree.
When I was partially through connecting the second layer of branches, I clued in that not all of the branches were the same length.
(This also makes a lot of sense, when you consider the general shape of a pine tree.)
I made a few necessary adjustments and then carried on.
Things were feeling generally chaotic- Christmas music playing, one child fascinated with the tree branches and the other wanting to take my blood pressure. Plus, people kept trying to decorate the tree before I was finished setting it up.
I wasn’t really feelin’ the Christmas spirit.
In the midst of all this chaos, I heard a little voice say something that seemed too good to be true. I stopped what I was doing, and the owner of the little voice stopped what he was doing, and we looked at eachother and I said, “What did you say?”
I had to be sure, you see.
He said it again, all cute and sweet and smiley. “I love you, auntie!” My heart just about melted. I felt completely unworthy of his love. I told him that I loved him too.
And later, I lifted him up high because he wanted to be the one to put the star on the tree. He was so very happy to do it, and I was so very happy to be able to help him do it.
Once his feet were on solid ground again, he tried to help his classmate get as excited about the star as he was. “Star! Star!” he kept saying, while hopping around and pointing up to his star.
But alas, she was still busy playing with the blood pressure cuff, and just would not join in. It didn’t dampen his enthusiasm one single bit.
After experiencing all this, I felt just a little bit better about life.
Yes, life is complicated.
But it’s also pretty simple.