Sidenote: I know that I didn’t blog yesterday. I didn’t forget. I just did other things instead. Okay? (Feeling slightly defensive about this… I really did make the choice to wait until I had figured out what I wanted to say and had the words to say it.)
Basically, you should know that these days, there are two things on my mind and heart.
Those two things are marriage and teaching.
They may be coming up rather frequently in my blogging. Sorry about that.
I often feel pulled between the two. There is a time to prepare to teach and a time to prepare to marry. Just like there is a time to talk about snow days and a time to talk about New France and habitants. And a time to be silly and a time to be serious.
Both require lots of prep work. Both can weigh very heavily on a soul. Not necessarily in an unpleasant way- just a very constantly present and gaining weight as we feed on your time and energy way.
I don’t even know how to talk about anything besides these two things, and the problem is that I don’t feel like I have a lot to say about these things because I feel unqualified for both of them.
So tonight my question is this:
HOW DO PEOPLE EVEN DO LIFE????
Phew. Now that I’ve gotten that out there, I’ll try to carry on.
(And I promise that not all of my October posts will be about my feelings. I promise.)
Engagement is a strange time in that it is a time where nothing is normal. You carry on with a lot of the same activities that you did in your “old life” but they just aren’t the same because everything is tinted with “preparing for the new life” or the knowledge that “this soon WON’T be normal”.
It’s a nice time though.
A time where you feel unbelievably and undeservedly blessed and privileged. Privileged to have such a beautiful future and privileged to have had such a lovely past that leaving it behind feels sad.
I guess that I am just realizing that there really is a time for everything but that it is not quite so neatly divided as the third chapter of Ecclesiastes makes it sound. It seems as though there are even times where the sad and the glad, the wonderful and the hard, overlap and get all swirled together and you feel the pain and the beauty simultaneously- much like looking at a group of vibrant, autumn-coloured trees contrasted with a steel October sky.
For everything there is a season, and time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
He has made everything beautiful in its time.